Phuket, mostly at night

Here I continue the story about my visit to Thailand after Bangkok (part 1 and 2). The plan was to spend four activity-full days in Phuket followed by four relaxing ones in Phi Phi Don before leaving Thailand and off to Hong Kong.

For the first two days I was doing the usual day packages sold everywhere (elephant riding, rafting, island hopping…) and the second two were to be spent on a diving course. Plenty of activity, especially considering I was already quite exhausted from Bangkok.

I stayed at the Club One Seven Hotel, a small gay hotel in Patong Beach. Great place, nice rooms and a really friendly and efficient service. The stay and guides in Bangkok plus the hotel and half of the activities in Phuket were organised through a local gay travel agency so there’s no surprise the hotels were either gay-friendly or gay. I must admit I also thought the guide’s advice would be way more useful and it would be easier to bring someone in at night…

In the same way I contacted a few people to meet in BKK, I had done the same for Phuket. But since I didn’t have much time to be online I hadn’t really organised who I’d be meeting when with the same detail.

I’d been in touch with a few nice guys and one of them even suggested coming over to Phi Phi if we got along, which was great since Phi Phi’s gay life is as far as I can tell, well, non-existent. But that wasn’t going to happen.

My first day in town started with a surprise. I had forgotten my package included a guide on the first night to show me the gay life in Phuket. In the evening I was at the hotel reception waiting and using the internet when I saw a familiar face coming in. Then it clicked, it was one of the guys I had been chatting to! Although not one of the guys I was planning to meet – I was never so sure about his intentions. And if that wasn’t enough coincidence he happened to be my guide!

We had dinner and then visited a few bars in the gay area (street), got plenty of advice about the different places, etc. In his opinion about 95% of the Thai guys in that street were moneyboys! Not exactly the most enticing piece of information given my determination to avoid them.

At the end of the night he took me back to the hotel and said goodbye. He was clearly interested in something more but he had a bad cold and I wasn’t prepared to risk catching one and ruining neither my holidays nor my (already paid) diving course so I said goodbye with no intentions of seeing him again. Besides, I was paying for his time as a guide and was also supposed to tip him; the idea of mixing that with sex didn’t seem right to me.

After the programmed activities on the second day I was back at the hotel not so keen to meet anyone. I was tired and I had to go through the diving theory book and DVDs on time for my course. I got online to check messages and there was a reply from a cute guy I thought I had no chance to meet. Turns out he wanted to meet but was working till 12! I said yes even though I had to get up early in the morning, at least meeting him late allowed me read up on my books…

We met at the Boat Bar, had a few drinks and watched a couple of the shows. He was a nice lively guy, a bit shy sometimes but quite extrovert with the locals he knew – and it was quite a few of them. I’ll call him PJ, 22.

At the end of the night he agreed to come back to the hotel with me. I did like the hotel’s policy to ask for the id of any night guests, it felt reassuring, although clearly he didn’t like it so much. No need to give the details of what we did but we had a fantastic time before we finally went to sleep. I was getting back into 4 hours of sleep a night not knowing for how long I would be able to keep up.

To add a bit of sense of adventure I found out BKK’s airport was closed the day after I arrived “courtesy” of the PAD demonstrators. My reaction was simple: ignore it completely, pretend it wasn’t happening and get on with my holidays – nothing was going to ruin them and certainly being stuck in Thailand a few extra days was probably not a bad thing after all…

The following days I met PJ every night. Sometimes after a drink at a gay bar we went to the straight places as he preferred them. I think the idea was to avoid being confused with a money-boy and his friends seemed to be doing the same. But then we landed in moneygirl land. I had never seen something like that. The bars/clubs were on the main Phuket party street, a mix of tourists looking for fun and an army of girls looking for business… but I may comment on this on a separate post.

Over the days in Phuket the guide guy tried to meet me and I always told him no, I think he was very keen but I was still trying to avoid getting his cold and I preferred PJ anyway and there were a couple of other potential guys I wouldn’t have minded meeting.

Going out at night I recognised a few people from chatting with them so it was interesting to see them in real life. Gay life in Phuket is obviously limited so I think it’s quite easy to see the usual faces. Some I have chatted to on my return like one of the dancers at one of the bars who apparently recognised me.

I kept on sleeping about 4 hours a night, including the days before diving. Luckily besides the actual dives the rest of the time you spend it going from one site to another so there’s plenty of time to rest. You’re supposed to be fully rested and not drink alcohol before going diving but that’s a rule I ignored…

Diving was quite an experience, on the first day I managed to see 6 black-tip sharks, which I’m told is very rare. A nice change from the money-grabbing ones in bars.

I managed to get a free upgrade to a speedboat one of the days. That was an interesting experience, so different from the big boats that take a whole load of divers somewhere. It was just 5 of us plus two staff. The 5 was made up of the instructor, an older Dutch guy who didn’t even dive, his money boy and a friend of his and obviously me.

The instructor even knew the two Thai guys personally so was able to give me some insight into the arrangement. Apparently the money-boy was not only straight but also married and was obvious enough to wear some shorts with “No money, no honey” written on them!! I mean, how obvious can you be? So when his friend started paying some attention to me I tried to be polite but at a distance… I was certainly not going to accept his offer for a “sleeping massage”.

The guy that had suggested coming with me to Phi Phi wasn’t feeling quite right so all my energies went for PJ although I did see him a couple of the last nights and say hi, PJ noticed he was looking at me all the time and seemed to get a bit jealous.

There was still a really good looking model that was going to be there a few days and I wanted to meet too. But he too ended up changing plans last minute and delayed his visit to Phuket by a week.

One of the days I thought I may ask PJ if he wanted to come to Phi Phi with me. I wasn’t sure because I was never completely sure about him. So I waited and the day before the last I asked him. He wasn’t sure and told me he’d tell me the next day.

The following day we met again as usual and at some point I asked him again, he was still reluctant so I thought he wouldn’t. It was only at the end of the night back in the hotel that he finally agreed to come. That was great, I had someone nice to be with in Phi Phi Don. It also meant I was going to be with PJ for over a week, half of it 24 hours a day! Hadn’t done that for a long time.

The next day we left in the morning to take the ferry to Phi Phi Don, but that’s another post… watch this space.

Did spring arrive early? – Part 2

Luckily S didn’t have to do anything until early afternoon so we were able to stay up late in bed and repeat some of the previous nigh action. Then he left to meet his friends and I had about 3 hours before EH was due in… (back to part 1)

He didn’t have class in the following morning so he was coming in the afternoon to spend the night at mine. I went to pick him up from the station and headed home where we chatted away for a while. He seems quite shy as well but he did confess he’d been hoping to meet me for quite some time so he was happy we were finally able to meet.

Slowly we got closer and closer until we started kissing. The whole thing was very slow and sweet. At some point we finally moved on to the bedroom and we spent over three hours making the sweetest love I’ve had for so long. Just from time to time we’d have a moment of rest, we’d lie facing each other or one on top of the other, slowly kissing with slow body contact and then again and again.

The experience was amazing. I can’t remember something so slow and sweet. When we finished we were exhausted, I cooked dinner and we went to sleep straight away. In the morning we had just half an hour but was enough for some repeat of the previous day.
I’m very much looking forward to meet EH again.

With not much time for a rest the following day I was at work logged in on messenger when I got a message from a Korean guy, 21, that’s on a visit to London. We’d discussed meeting the week before and it turns out he could only do Monday itself and only till 10!

So despite me being quite tired by then I had to give in to temptation because otherwise I could miss the opportunity. So we met at 6 after work.

He was a different case, we were just meeting for fun so we had only a small little chat. At some point we run out of conversation and I just kissed him and it all started. We had fun twice, one turn each… then he had a shower and left to meet his friends.

So from plans for an easy weekend just hoping to meet S I ended up sleeping with 5 different guys over 4 days. Needless to say Tuesday was rest day!

I had a lot of fun during the weekend and make some great progress with S, which is good. But because I was meeting so many people I haven’t really been able to reflect on any of it, especially S since he’s definitely boyfriend material. I was just able to live the moment and couldn’t really reflect or capture much.

I will meet S again, not sure when given his crazy work but I think there may be a future there. And I will probably see EH again too despite knowing it’s not very practical the time we were making love was so beautiful and intense…

Here I am again, confused and seeing too many people. Maybe I just can’t help it? Or maybe I’m just expecting the same fireworks I saw with H and that’s just a rare opportunity.

Did spring arrive early? – Part 1

When L announced he had a boyfriend it made me think. Was I spreading my attentions too thin? Or was it just not meant to be?

So still in two minds I didn’t have many plans for the weekend. Little I knew things were going to change very quickly… and all last minute.

It all started on Thursday, I was feeling like indulging in some kinky fun and got in touch with one of the guys that I’ve met a couple of times before. He does an amazing work… Unfortunately he wasn’t free on the weekend so he suggested Friday evening; only thing was that a friend of his was visiting him so he suggested we could all have fun together.

Well, I’d never done a threesome of any kind, so it was very tempting. Only thing is I was waiting to hear from S, I had decided that since L was gone and given we got along so well in our first two dates I should concentrate on him and make him priority.

Finally S replied and agreed to meet on Saturday so at about 5pm on Friday I agreed to see the two guys that evening. Well, I have to say the experience was fantastic. I didn’t get to see the other guy’s face in person or even get introduced until everything finished – they had already started when I arrived. But I had seen his profile anyway, and this wasn’t exactly a romantic evening.

When S said yes for Saturday I was keen in making some progress this time. I could feel he was interested when we met before but seemed quite shy to suggest anything. So this time I offered to meet him either in town or at my place for some home cooking. He agreed to taste my paella so it all looked on track.

We had a great time on Saturday just as all the other times. Conversation just seems to flow easily, and we had plenty of it, dinner took almost two hours to cook…

After dinner we were on the sofa chatting away and before midnight he asked the same question he’d asked before, he was telling me he didn’t want to disturb my plans and asked what time were the last tube trains departing. I told him, and then I told him he could also stay. He let me decide so obviously the answer was to stay… and we proceeded to watch a movie, Lust, Caution from Ang Lee, great movie by the way.

S seemed quite shy, never seems to start anything so I was still unsure what he was up to. The movie finished past 2 in the morning so we went to sleep. Only once we were in bed things took a turn. We started kissing and everything else flew from there.

Luckily he didn’t have to do anything until early afternoon so we were able to stay up late in bed and repeat some of the previous nigh action. When he left to meet his friends I had about 3 hours before the next one was due in….

As it happens, on Thursday I was chatting with a guy I’ve been talking online for about 6 months. EH is Chinese, 21 and studying outside London so I never really thought we’d actually meet. He’d been back home for 3 weeks for Chinese New Year and somehow this time he seemed keener, or at least he actually suggested meeting. At the beginning I couldn’t tell him when as I was still waiting for S to come back to m. But that’s part 2.

What are the chances?

The Chinese New Year celebrations in London are always on the first Sunday after the actual date. There’s a big show in Trafalgar Square and activities in Leicester Square and obviously Chinatown itself.

Since S couldn’t make it due to work I met my friend C and his Malaysian husband. They’re the ones that married earlier this year and it was C who introduced me to HR. I normally try to avoid meeting the two of them if I’m just the third one but since S couldn’t make it and my friend J has been quite unreliable since he got a boyfriend I thought I should grab the chance.

The celebrations as such were good fun despite the bitter cold – it even started snowing at some point of the afternoon in anticipation of the “big” snow storm that was to take London overnight. Well, big in London terms anyway, 6 inches are really not that impressive.

B texted during the day asking what I was doing and we agreed he’d join us for dinner. So later in the day we met at Young Cheng in Shaftesbury Avenue. We had a nice dinner and I didn’t notice anything unusual.

When we were leaving in the stairs Chris just told me that actually he had “known B personally” a couple of year ago! I couldn’t ask more at the time but since I’ve found out they had sex a couple of times 2 years ago but never came to more than that. I also found out that he’d told his husband by sms message at the beginning of the dinner! And obviously B knew as well but nobody said anything at all and they all behaved like perfect strangers when I introduced them…

It’s now the third person I meet randomly either in person or online that happens to have slept with C before! He claims he hasn’t slept with all gay Asian men in the world but I am starting to suspect he may mean no more than 90%.
Small world indeed.

My disappointment with L

Just a week ago things were looking in the up with L. He seemed like my best candidate with things getting stronger each time we met. I told you about our last date when we went to the cinema, dinner and then back home. Unfortunately last week he had night shifts so we couldn’t arrange to follow soon after.

During the we we exchanged some messages and talked about meeting soon. However I couldn’t pin him down. He did told me the last two nights he’d been out drinking a lot and having a great time.

On Saturday we were chatting on Messenger when all of the sudden I got this line “love is in the air”. That could only mean something really good or something really bad.

After a bit of digging for details he told me he was about to delete all his profiles as they were of no use for him. Then he told me he’d met this guy just on Wednesday and he was falling in love with him. Damn! my best prospect had just vanished. We didn’t chat much longer, but I did let him understand I had been having some hopes.

He even seemed to be making some longer term plans, so when he told me it was a big shock.

So there I was, on Saturday, with no plans and just having learnt L was no longer on the cards. I felt sad and lonely. But in all honesty I couldn’t tell whether my sadness was due to him or to the fact that I had just taken a step backwards towards finding someone who is more than just a date or a friend with benefits.

It made me think about whether I’ve been  getting something wrong. I’ve been dating multiple people trying to see what could come out of any of them in the hope at some point I’d find something more permanent. But maybe that’s meant my energies have been spread too thinly over too many, maybe missing the chance to deepen any of the relationships. Maybe I should only date one guy at a time? But then I may be missing the chance to meet someone else for who I’d feel sparks. But just maybe, if nothing more happened was because it was not meant to be.

On the other hand L was in my shortlist, so he always had priority over anyone else. I never missed a chance to meet him because I was meeting somebody else. But maybe I didn’t pay enough attention? As a good friend of mind reminded me, you need to really go for it, in the same way I meet a lot of people, other people do too and they could just find someone else any moment.

Although it is true that I never really felt a big deal for him, I thought he’d be a good match and although I really enjoyed meeting him the magic was perhaps not there, he was not in my thoughts all the time. And probably the same thing happened to him. I was hoping that maybe with time something more intense would come out. Probably it was due that one of us would end up finding someone else. In the land of plenty you must be fast.

So as it stands now I only have F, of who I really am not sure, and S. F has been in HK for two weeks now and won’t come back for another.

I’ve only met S twice and he’s been rather busy at work, so we couldn’t meet as planned on Sunday for the Chinese New Year celebrations in London. But I think we clicked more than with any other besides H.

I have a good feeling about S and I am looking forward to a third date with him. Maybe I should learn some lessons and concentrate on him more, but it is difficult to get some of his time. I still need to find out whether he’s only after friendship anyway.

After all I do have a need to be with someone, and short casual encounters do fill some of the void. On Saturday I was feeling quite down and ended up staying in rather than going out. But I did meet someone new on Friday and B again on Sunday…