Small world

Some time ago, in one of those days I wasn’t feeling like staying home I agreed to meet up with a guy from Singapore very much last minute. I was still impressed by TJ and had developed something for Singaporean guys. We had dinner and a few drinks and at the end I invited him home, something I shouldn’t have done.

Soon after I met a quite cute guy from Singapore online. He was studying and working so had little time but he was keen to meet and fun was certainly on the cards – apparently he had a thing for Spanish guys.

One day when we became Facebook “friends” he realized we someone in common. I was open and accepted that we had gone on a date. To my horror he told me that we could only be friends because of that, even if it was just once. Damn, not only I considered what happened with the first one a mistake, it was now coming back to haunt me… needless to say I was quite crossed.

After that we chatted very briefly a couple of times until he finished his term and had more free time. Luckily for me he seemed to have forgotten his previous friends-only rule (or at least changed his mind).
With the excuse he was going to my home town on holiday and wanted some advice we met for dinner one day. We got on well and had a nice time at the restaurant. Once we left it was time to decide what to do next, he was too full to have any drink or coffee and we were still supposed to review some of his holiday print-outs so we didn’t have many options.

As usual I used the DVD card. He agreed to come home just to watch a movie and we could look at the print-outs while on the way.

We chose a movie and started to watch it. In a very slow process we got closer, first just a bit of contact, then a bit more until my hand found its way to his leg, then his legs over mine… then the movie finished.

He asked about the last train home, which was about an hour later so he could stay a bit longer. At some point he was lying on the sofa and I started giving him a back massage, by this time the last train was getting closer and he agreed to stay over, although he was talking about sleeping in the sofa… right.

Finally the shirt had to come off for the sake of a good massage which by this time was going down to his glutes. He wondered how a front massage worked and I mentioned a book I keep by the bed. He was the one saying that maybe we should go there and check it. So we did.
We tried to follow the instructions but soon it was just me on him kissing

him and soon after there were few clothes left. Well, not until he asked me to put my jeans on, leave them unbuttoned and continue, some sort of fantasy I was more than willing to help with.

We had some of the safest sex I’ve had in quite a while; he even wanted me to use a condom to suck on me. I’m all for safe sex but that’s a little bit too much in my opinion. Once we finished we went to sleep, but about 20 minutes later he was looking for some more relief…

In the morning he had to leave for work so we just had time for some mutual JO and then it was time to rush off. He asked to borrow some underwear with the promise he’d return it. An excuse to meet again? Or maybe an underwear fetish, after all he wanted to keep his on for quite a while…I’m certainly looking forward to the next time.

I quite liked him but unfortunately he’s going to be away for a couple of months in summer and he doesn’t want to stay in London. He wants to move somewhere else, maybe New York, so I don’t think there’s any hope for anything more than a friend+.

Oh, I forgot, he will be Y – I hope to write about him again .

Another weekend without a rest

Time to catch up on the last few weeks, have been quite busy and didn’t have a chance to write anything so here is the first busy weekend since my last post.

Friday

F has proven to be a regular weekend feature so on Friday we met after work to have dinner in Soho. We then went back to my place to watch a movie. Things never get hot at this stage with him. But as usual, once we’re in bed and the lights are off he starts to get close and then it’s all go.

He left in the morning after some morning sex and a nice breakfast to meet a friend for some shopping. He later texted me saying he’d bought me some gloves – just some days earlier I had mentioned I had lost mine on a train. It was a nice gesture.

I feel he’s getting closer but there are still some doubts in my mind, especially since he sometimes plays a bit cool. Personally, I don’t like games.

Saturday

After F left I had some time free and started chatting with a guy from Taiwan I met on one of the usual websites. I find him extremely cute and in some ways he reminds me of H, similar look, haircut and equally playful.

It all started as a normal chat, then we switched on the cams, soon he started asking to remove pieces of clothing and somehow we ended up indulging in some cyber-sex. Not something I like as such but hey…
Later that afternoon EH was coming around. Since I enjoyed our last time so much and was free on Saturday I thought I’d invite him over for more of the same.

EH is such a sweet guy, we always start chatting in the sofa and slowly start getting comfortable and end up very close where the kisses start. It’s slow, sweet and romantic before we finally move on to bed where we spent a couple of hours.

At some point he looked at me and told me “I like you very much”. That’s the closest to a love declaration I’ve had since H. Unfortunately, despite how much I enjoy his company I haven’t yet really seen him as boyfriend material. So I had to be careful as I don’t want to make promises that I cannot fulfil but made me thing I should probably wait a bit before meeting him again.

Afterwards we had dinner and watched a DVD before going to sleep, and I do mean sleep…

Last time he came on a Sunday so waking up was a rushed affair. This time was very different; with nothing to do until the afternoon we cuddled, kissed and had tender sex before was time for brunch.

Later, while we were making time we spoke only at times, the rest we just cuddled and kissed in the sofa until it was time to leave. Somehow it was all but boring. But I do wonder when will that wear off…

Sunday

You see, the previous day S texted asking if I wanted to meet him. By then I was seeing EH so I couldn’t but when he said he’d be busy for a couple of weeks I suggested meeting Sunday afternoon instead. He’d just had a flu so I wasn’t keen in bringing him home for fear of getting it myself so I suggested meeting in Soho. I didn’t want to let things cool off as personality wise I think he’s the best match of all my current dates.

So I left EH in Chinatown and headed towards Soho to meet S. About 50 metres from the café we were meeting F appeared all of the sudden! He was there with some friends and invited me to join them.

I had to excuse myself saying I was meeting some other friends but  I promised that if my friends were late I’d pop in for a coffee. Of course an empty promise, I’m not sure how I’d introduce F and S to each other… so I said goodbye and hoped we wouldn’t cross again that afternoon.

S arrived shortly after and as usual conversation flowed easily. This is something that doesn’t happen with F so often; I’m increasingly concluding we don’t have that many interests together. The topic that most interests him seems to be fashion, which is not really my preferred topic.

We headed for some food followed by dessert at one café and then some coffee at another. During the night he apologised a few times for the fact that he hadn’t been able to see me much and wouldn’t in the near future either.

He’s going to have some visitors the next couple of weeks so it’ll be a while until we meet again. I worry that his time constraints aren’t allowing for enough time together for anything to develop. I quite like him and we do have a few things in common but even if things developed slowly I wonder where they would lead.

Would I want a boyfriend that’s always busy with work and can only see from time to time? Isn’t that going to be a source of frustration? After all I often have so many dates simply to avoid staying home on my own and an absent boyfriend wouldn’t really help.

Feeling lonely in the crowd

I’ve been feeling lonely lately. Which some people seem to find puzzling given my agenda. But it is true.

I’ll post about last weekend, but I’ll advance it was a really busy one, I was hardly alone during the whole weekend, day or night. And yet somehow I ended the weekend feeling empty and lonely.

Because of a number of reasons I’ve been seeing dates a lot more often than friends. Not out of preference. It was good catching up with J over dinner yesterday. Since he’s got a boyfriend is rare the occasion I get some one on one time with him. We do speak on the phone pretty much every day though but nothing can replace talking to a friend in person.

I’m seeing two, maybe three people that I think could develop into something. Yet when I was feeling lonely today I was wishing I was cuddling D.

You don’t know D, I haven’t introduced you to him yet, although I mentioned him in my last post.

One of the reasons I was thinking of him, instead of one of the three, is that I tell him all about my dates. What does it have to do? Well, he lives away and therefore there’s no chance he could be me boyfriend, and yet he’s someone I would certainly have in my bed, or anywhere else for that matter. Which means I don’t have to worry about whether I am creating the right impression, whether things are moving forward or backward, how soon should we meet again to make sure we keep things moving, reading every sign, analysing every response for clues… dating is indeed tiring.

I wish I were able to simply relax and enjoy.

Blog anonimity

You will know this is an anonymous blog. When I started I just wanted a way of expressing some views without worrying about someone knowing they were mine.

With time the topics changed and when I started blogging about my dates there was even more reason for it, the last thing I wanted was for any of my dates to know about the others.

But the main reason has always been that this would allow me to express my views freely, without fearing anyone would feel hurt or unfairly treated by whatever I wrote. And it’s not like I have a tendency to bitch about anyone.

But there are three people who do know who I am.

The ex

I started this blog only shortly before we broke up. Partly it was the result of us slowly distancing ourselves and a growing inner frustration with my life. Not that the later has ever ended.

In the early days after we broke up he started his own too. I found it pretty quickly. After so many years together I could still recognise a body shot. It was also an interesting insight after our break up.

I always thought he probably knew about mine. But apparently I was wrong, not long ago I read one of his posts about him finding out about my blog. I can tell you that was a funny read.

But it wasn’t until quite recently that we actually discussed it over dinner, not in much detail but enough to confess to each other.

The Blogger

The second person that knows about me is a fellow blogger. We followed each other blogs for a while and when I planned to visit his country we agreed to meet. And in order to meet we had to exchange some contact details so it was then that I disclosed my identity, well, really just a profile on one of the gay websites but it did include pictures of me and I told him my name.

Unfortunately we never got to meet.

The internet friend

Today I revealed my blog persona to someone else. This time was someone I met online and have been chatting for a while. He’s someone I’m very fond of and have chatted with endless times recently. He tends to know about my dates even before I get the time to post about them.

But he breaks the mean rules why I chose to go anonymous. He is someone I’m hoping to meet one day, and if that happens he is someone I would want to post about here. How could I express my views freely when I know he will read them and I will be worried I my upset him?

At least he knows he’s not the only person I’d date or have sex with. I guess when (and if) that happens I’ll have to think twice about what I write. But somehow I felt like sharing this blog with him. It will be good to get some honest feedback from a friend too.

We were chatting online while he was reading it.

I asked him what impression of me he was getting from my posts. He thought it felt like I was lost and despite having a comfortable life I was not finding the one thing I cannot buy but want the most.

Well, that diagnosis I knew already, what’s hard is finding the treatment to cure the condition. Any takers? Email me.

10 commandments of a money boy

A Thai friend once posted the money boy’s 10 commandments, he lost the original source but a bit of googleing around showed the original one for money girls and a gay version.

This is the gay version:

1. At the end of the week, specifically Friday and Saturday, many locally employed walking ATM machines will come to your bar, choose carefully! Some have money, but others do not! If he is wearing a suit and tie, check that the tie is not a Pratunam special and check that he isn’t wearing trainers.
If he is, forget him because he is most likely an English teacher, and they will only give you peanuts, if they give you anything at all.

2. No matter how fat and ugly he is, no matter how bad he may smell, no matter how drunk he is, make sure you always tell him he is handsome. Sit close to him and run your hands over his body, arousing him.
As soon as he has paid the bar fine, you can stand clear of him. Even if he knows that you despise him, he’ll still pay you. The hard part is getting him to pay the bar fine, and as soon as he has done that, the rest is easy.

3. Start collecting email addresses from all of your customers, once you have a good collection of addresses, a visit to your local Internet cafe is in order. Send everyone an email. Simply change the name on each email and send it off to all the guys. If you can remember something specific about them, mention that in the email too.
These walking ATMs all have a soft heart, so you need to tell them a story to get them to send you some of their riches. Start with a sick buffalo and if he doesn’t reply, next tell him that your mother is ill. As a last resort, if he still doesn’t send any money, tell him your sister got hit by a motorcycle and is in the hospital very seriously hurt and the family has no money to pay for the operation.

4. Practice crying on cue. It is essential that you can produce tears immediately. This will have the effect of helping the walking ATM machine to see things your way!

5. When you get a customer for an extended period of time, make sure he takes you shopping, with Rarn Tong (gold shop) being the best place to visit. Make sure he buys you gold and if he doesn’t, see rule 4!
As soon as he has left Thailand, take the gold back to the shop and sell it straight back to them, thus increasing your pay out.

6. When locally based farangs are inside the bars, do not speak in Thai with your friends in the bar but rather use Lao, Khmer or any other dialects that you may know.
It’s bad enough that some of them can speak and even read Thai, but Lao and Khmer should be kept as sacrosanct. Under no circumstances should the farang be taught our regional dialects.

7. Always see him off at the airport. Thai currency cannot be used in his country, so it is highly likely that he will give you all of his leftover Baht as he leaves and says goodbye.
While accompanying him to the airport, prevent him buying going-away gifts for his family and friends in his homeland, this will leave more money for you.

8. See Asian customers. They understand that we like to gamble, and they understand that we have lots of unemployed brothers and sisters who need to eat. Therefore, they pay a lot better than the farangs.

9. Remember, when you go with a farang, you must always ask for taxi money and give him the excuse that taxi drivers cannot give change on big notes. Don’t let him see the small change in your wallet. If taxi money isn’t forthcoming, see rule 4.

10. If you are no longer making money in Bangkok, move down to Phuket where you will be able to start making money again. Give Phuket a few years, then move on to Pattaya. Even if you are approaching 50, it is no problem as the walking ATM machines in Pattaya seem to be so blind, they will not notice.

The last part of my holidays: Hong Kong

After the madness of getting out of Thailand I finally made it to Hong Kong. Leaving Thailand was very sad, I had had such a great day and although I was looking forward to Hong Kong my stay was going to be just two nights and was clearly the end of my holidays.

On my first night I was meeting a Facebook friend. He was one of the random people I’ve met who knew my friend C, in fact he’d lived in London and was C’s boyfriend for some time so I had good references (I mentioned this in my previous post). I wasn’t planning to have sex with him, he was just a friend to meet and I was invited to a party on the first night.

The night started with luck, I was upgraded to a larger harbour view room, a stunning view I have to say. Being the first night in town I managed to get late to the party by almost an hour, that is until I arrived and found out I forgot to change the time zone so I was almost 2 hours late! I enjoyed what was left of the party and then headed back to the hotel.

In the morning I managed to make the same mistake, I didn’t change the time zone on my mobile so the alarm was an hour late and had to rush to check out. I then moved to the next hotel in Wan Chai, much more central and conveniently located. The rest of the day I spent it walking around taking pictures. HK is such a beautiful city, the sunset was spectacular from Kowloon with all the high rise buildings lit up for Christmas. At night I went up to the Peak to view the skyline, the pictures are stunning.

Later that evening I met my friend for some drinks at a gay bar. At some point I caught the attention of a guy there, we looked at each other a few times until at some point he disappeared. I thought he’d left and was resigned to either go back to the hotel on my own or move on to a club my friend recommended.

While I was making up my mind he returned, but with a white guy. Not to be put off by this I walked around to let my presence be known… a bit later he walked by me and made a sign to follow him. So I did. To the toilettes. There we locked ourselves in a cubicle and spoke for about 15 seconds before starting to kiss. Never had done that before, I hate toilettes and the idea of doing something like that has always put me off. When we established our roles we agreed to go to my hotel room, not without the disapproving looks of the people queuing. I waited outside while he said goodbye to his friend and we took a taxi.

You can imagine what happened in the hotel room. He stayed overnight. I learnt he was 22 and worked as a dancer and model. He was a curious mix of Chinese, Filipino  and Spanish(!) blood. Certainly handsome and tall.

I have to say I am glad the bathroom had glass walls; it was a great turn on to see him take a shower while watching from the bed.

In the morning we went for a coffee, then he went home, I saw my last tourist attraction and went to the airport to return to London, the dream was finally over. The following day was Monday, my birthday and the first day in the office.

I’m still in touch with him, we chat from time to time and follow each other on Facebook. Somehow I’ve managed to keep in touch with everybody I met (intimately) during my holidays, you’ll find them all on my Facebook profile.

Thai holiday: My days in Ko Phi Phi

Brock Martin

Continues from previous posts on my trip to Thailand.

So with PJ having agreed to come over to Ko Phi Phi we set off in the morning to take the ferry. From there a long tail boat took us to the hotel where I had booked a bungalow.

Phi Phi Don is a most beautiful island. Basically two mountain islands joined by a narrow isthmus that was wiped during the tsunami, not that you would notice though, everything has been rebuilt to exhaustion and the central part is a mass of low rise building with hotels of all categories, shops and bars. Not pretty as such but you’re always close to the beautiful beaches with stunning views of the mountains around them. The hotel was set away from the busy central area.

When we finally arrived I couldn’t believe my luck, never had had such views from a hotel room before. Unpacking inside I could see PJ outside smoking while enjoying the view, I felt lucky.

The nightlife in Phi Phi is quite different to Phuket. There you have a mix of hotels and a huge backpacking community. There are plenty of bars along the beach, many with their own fire shows. The people around seem mostly young westerners.

During the next few days we had time to do a bit of everything. Finally the sun came up and Thailand’s beaches took a completely new colour, light green and blue mixed contrasting with the deep green of the islands’ vegetation.

One day we took a speedboat on a trip around the islands that form Phi Phi, we had a great time. The rest of the days we spent being lazy around, visiting what could be visited in Phi Phi Don, enjoying the beach, having a massage by the sea, eating delicious Thai food by the sea, going out at night to some beach party or playing pool or just having sex in the room.

It was a great relaxed time, a change from the craziness and sleepless nights in Bangkok and Phuket. PJ got a bit moody a couple of times, probably bored and missing the buzz of Phuket but I most welcomed it. It was certainly good I wasn’t on my own. From what I saw there was no gay life in Phi Phi as such so I would have probably been bored.

On the last day we went back to Phuket. PJ back to work and me left to resolve the madness around Bangkok ’s airport protests. The airport was finally reopening but the information was confusing, Thai’s phone lines always busy and Cathay’s flight information changing constantly. I was supposed to fly over to Bangkok from Phuket and from there to Hong Kong. But I had to change the Cathay flight twice as it was originally cancelled and then rescheduled back. At the same time I had to change my hotel reservation in Hong Kong, cancelling one night first and then rebooking it again but on a different hotel.

The last night I met PJ for the last time, we went out as usual but hardly slept at all, I just slept a couple of hours, kissed him goodbye and went to the airport. When I arrived at the airport I found out the flight to Bangkok was cancelled and I was only offered being in the waiting list for a later flight without many chances of getting on. Fortunately I managed to book myself on another flight with Bangkok Air leaving at the same time and finally made it to Bangkok where I left Thailand for Hong Kong.

Since coming back from Thailand I’ve kept in touch with PJ often, in the same way as TM. Although my friendship with TM has been stronger or at least more direct. PJ has now decided to leave Phuket, apparently business isn’t good so he’s going back to his home town, his dream of going to Ireland with his sister doesn’t seem to be happening so he’s sad of going back to a small village north of Bangkok.

Yesterday we chatted again. He started a conversation on Messenger and told me he had a confession to make. He told me that although he did work in a massage place, his job wasn’t doing the phones (something I always doubted), but he did the massages and was a money boy there too.

He hadn’t wanted to tell me for fear I would reject him. To be honest, I always thought there was a chance of that, but he never asked for money. He said he was with me because he just liked me. I would like to believe him and probably do. But I am glad he at least told me the truth in the end.

A visitor from Korea

I recently mentioned my Korean visitor on the post “Did  spring arrive early? – Part 2”. At the time I didn’t even give him initials since I expected to be a one off and there are already too many initials to remember; in fact I have to keep them on a spreadsheet and have to check regularly when posting.

Well, it turns out we did meet again. In total we met five times over the last three weeks. So I will call him HJ. He seemed to have a heavy agenda and was leaving to Paris for a while before finally returning to Korea so I didn’t expect to meet him again given the whole affair was very casual.

But he decided not to go to Paris and he was keen to meet again, something I just couldn’t resist. At some point he said I was one of the reasons why he was staying in London, not that I believed it for a moment…

So a week later we met again at home for a repeat. When I got free tickets to the theatre I unsuccessfully tried to invite S (busy with work) and F (doesn’t like theatre!). So I then invited HJ, and he accepted immediately.

After theatre he didn’t come home though, it was sort of late and he doesn’t seem to like staying over. Then the following week we repeated exactly the same, we met on Monday at home for some fun and dinner and on Tuesday for a new play (yes, I got free tickets again and S was still busy).

I don’t know what is it with visitors; I was very keen on TJ when we met a couple of times and sad when he left. And again I was very keen on HJ, something quite attracted me to him, particularly in bed and felt sad when we said goodbye after the last theatre night when we said goodbye.

He’s a very nice sweet guy and at the same time I find him very sexy, but conversation didn’t flow so easily, just enough to get by. I would have continued seeing him for a while nevertheless. But for the time being we’ll have to keep in touch over Facebook and MSN.