You will know this is an anonymous blog. When I started I just wanted a way of expressing some views without worrying about someone knowing they were mine.
With time the topics changed and when I started blogging about my dates there was even more reason for it, the last thing I wanted was for any of my dates to know about the others.
But the main reason has always been that this would allow me to express my views freely, without fearing anyone would feel hurt or unfairly treated by whatever I wrote. And it’s not like I have a tendency to bitch about anyone.
But there are three people who do know who I am.
The ex
I started this blog only shortly before we broke up. Partly it was the result of us slowly distancing ourselves and a growing inner frustration with my life. Not that the later has ever ended.
In the early days after we broke up he started his own too. I found it pretty quickly. After so many years together I could still recognise a body shot. It was also an interesting insight after our break up.
I always thought he probably knew about mine. But apparently I was wrong, not long ago I read one of his posts about him finding out about my blog. I can tell you that was a funny read.
But it wasn’t until quite recently that we actually discussed it over dinner, not in much detail but enough to confess to each other.
The Blogger
The second person that knows about me is a fellow blogger. We followed each other blogs for a while and when I planned to visit his country we agreed to meet. And in order to meet we had to exchange some contact details so it was then that I disclosed my identity, well, really just a profile on one of the gay websites but it did include pictures of me and I told him my name.
Unfortunately we never got to meet.
The internet friend
Today I revealed my blog persona to someone else. This time was someone I met online and have been chatting for a while. He’s someone I’m very fond of and have chatted with endless times recently. He tends to know about my dates even before I get the time to post about them.
But he breaks the mean rules why I chose to go anonymous. He is someone I’m hoping to meet one day, and if that happens he is someone I would want to post about here. How could I express my views freely when I know he will read them and I will be worried I my upset him?
At least he knows he’s not the only person I’d date or have sex with. I guess when (and if) that happens I’ll have to think twice about what I write. But somehow I felt like sharing this blog with him. It will be good to get some honest feedback from a friend too.
We were chatting online while he was reading it.
I asked him what impression of me he was getting from my posts. He thought it felt like I was lost and despite having a comfortable life I was not finding the one thing I cannot buy but want the most.
Well, that diagnosis I knew already, what’s hard is finding the treatment to cure the condition. Any takers? Email me.
Twitter updates
Sharing your blogger’s identity with other people will invariably grant them access to your blogging world, including the parts of your private world you blog about. There is no doubt that people who know more about you than you know about them may have an inherent advantage over you. I therefore, perfectly understand my fellow bloggers who want to keep their blogging identity strictly private.
If you gave it all a second thought, you’d soon realize that there is actually very little advantage to the secrecy when it comes to the ’significant’ people. On the contrary, blogs are very useful.
I have placed a permalink on my ‘About’ page SilverRRCloud.wordpress.com to a dating site and v.v.. If anyone who wants to meet me and possibly develop a friendship (or more) profoundly disagrees with my views and ways, it is so much better for both of us not to bother and waste our time in the first place. I am, who I am, and I do not see easily changing my fundamental views, interests and attitudes just because that may (or may not) please my prospective date, friend, BF or even future partner. By that same token, if he can see and possibly even share (or tolerate) some of my views, he is likely to invest more time and energy into making whatever kind of relationship we may have, work for both of us.
It really boils down to the idea that when it comes to the personal issues, ‘honesty really IS the best policy’. Cheating here won’t take you anywhere close to where you want to be.
Would I gladly share my identity with the whole world on the net? Not really. There is absolutely no need for that, and no one will be any better off for knowing my name, home address or anything else of that nature.
SilverRRCloud
Well, in my opinion it all depends on what your goals are and what you blog about. If I was just blogging about my personal thoughts about this and that then I would certainly have no issues with revealing my identity. In a way that’s what I do with Facebook.
However, this blog has ended up being a diary of my dating life and I think it’s not quite the same. I don’t really see it as an issue about honesty, I don’t tell any of my dates I won’t see anyone else but equally I don’t think it would help.
I would say when most people look for a boyfriend they are likely to be a bit worried if they *know* the other person is seeing many more people. We all assume that the other guy is likely to see someone else but we don’t know the extent nor the details, and we are probably better off not knowing.
When I find a bf I do intend to go monogamous as I was during the almost 10 years my last relationship lasted, so my current multidating is not something they better know about now rather than find out later. As I see it, it’s only likely to scare someone away. So I can only see drawbacks.