Monogamy and me

Marco Posadas by Lalake

After a couple of years multi-dating and sleeping with as many cute boys as I could it’s not surprising some readers didn’t believe I could be monogamous when JF came along.

Personally I knew it would be quite a transition but was sure I could do it. After all, I had been monogamous for almost a decade even when sex was as scarce as it can get…

Having been single for two years meant I got used to do some things automatically. Like scan a bar for Asian guys in under a second after entering and being aware of any movements while basically filtering out anybody else besides my friends.

And at the beginning I would still do that when I went out with JF, it wasn’t a conscious act, just what I had got used to do… but I found myself doing it all the time and tried to reduce it or make it less obvious. Not the stuff that inspires confidence from your bf, even if you won’t do anything other than look!

Equally, I still have the same tastes as before so I do like having a look around online. I no longer intend to date or have sex with them, just some window shopping.

I must confess, at the beginning I didn’t have it totally clear. I had all these people I’d been chatting both in London as well as in some of the destinations I was planning to visit. And after all the time spent giving them up wasn’t an easy thought.

At the very beginning I thought I could just keep the ones for trips but I realised that wouldn’t be a good idea. Now, I could potentially meet them if I travel there on my own but I wouldn’t go beyond friendship. Unfortunately I still want to visit many places but JF doesn’t really have the days to do those trips with me and going alone and not meeting anyone at all it’s not quite as enticing as it was before but I still want to visit those places.

So I have pretty much settled into monogamy. JF is not into an open relationship, he’s actually quite the jealous kind, and having agreed to be monogamous with him it’s not a promise I want to break.