Badminton friends

It was definitely a good idea to start doing badminton. It’s good for your health, keeps you busy on rainy Sundays and you get to meet some people.

A few weeks ago I noticed one of the guys playing. Hadn’t seen him before but he looked cute. We didn’t have a chance to play together but by the end my interest faded a bit away, I thought he seemed a little bit too camp for what I normally like but I still found him attractive.

TL was there as well and he happened to know him. TL is a great source of information. Apparently they had an ex in common and they had just broken up and followed to give me a list of reasons why he was such a nice guy and a potentially a great boyfriend. TL is always trying to match people. Last week he told me he thinks he’ll be my next boyfriend!

So I pretended I randomly recognised him on TL’s list of Facebook friends and sent him a message asking if he was in badminton that weekend. From there followed quite a few messages.

We finally agreed to have coffee earlier this week. We met in Soho and after a bit of chatting X – how I will call him – mentioned he was hungry so we decided to go to a restaurant. He suggested a good one near Euston where they prepare food from his region (Sichuan) so we went there.

We had a nice evening chatting about all sorts of things. X seems like a really nice guy just like TL said. I may even be invited to a dinner party he is thinking of organising.

I will see him again this weekend for badminton. I do have the suspicion this won’t go beyond friendship, but if that’s the case I’ll be lucky to have a nice new friend.

Profile browsing

Umm… I was going through friends lists on Facebook making a list of rice queens for my friend TL. We had talked about how often I come up with certain people on my Asian friends’ profiles and he insisted I build a list for him. Not sure what he wants it for, although I suspect he may want to put a check against any good looking ones…

Anyway, I thought I’d add EH’s sort-of-bf so I went on his public Facebook profile. There I found one of his friends had tagged a picture of him with three more people, one of them EH, at the London Pride.

This was the first time I’ve had any news from him and didn’t quite like the feeling.

I wasn’t sure whether he’d gone to China in the end and had been wondering whether to message him or not. One part of me doesn’t want to give up entirely and the other, more sensible, tells me there’s no point in doing so after what happened.

A wise philosopher once said:

I don’t wanna dream about all the things that never were

OK, that was Britney, but it fits nicely.

I got momentary relief when after showing the picture to D he commented “one’s a superold paedophile and one’s a fking whore“. C, on a separate conversation commented along the same lines but slightly more polite “EH must be blind, or getting a good salary?“.

It’s good to have friends to say the right things at the right moments, fair or not.

Going down the wrong path?

Picture by blueox Photography

By now I have seen LO a few times, we usually flirt quite heavily and have kissed but that’s as far as we’ve gone. I have told you before I don’t see him as a boyfriend, but he has a great body and wouldn’t mind some close contact. However, it seems we’re ending up the slow route…, which I’m not so comfortable with anymore.

LO is the other date I’ve had in the last month I mentioned in my last post (30 days). In the last month we’ve met twice. The first time I came out from badminton and was going back home when I got on messenger. We started chatting and turns up we both wanted to see Bruno. Half an hour later we met in Leicester Square.

The movie was very funny, the kind that can easily offend a few people but I didn’t have any issues with it and would definitely recommend it to anyone who likes some un-PC fun.

During the start of the movie LO put his hand on my leg and there it stayed till the end of the movie except for the moments he had my hand on his. After cinema we went for a drink in Kudos and then back home (each to his).

A couple of weeks later we chatted again and he asked me if I wanted to see Harry Potter. OK, not really my kind of movie but given everyone was making such a fuss about it I thought I might as well go. To be honest I thought HP was worse than all the previous ones…

Anyway, this time he went straight for my hand and held it for the whole movie. Afterwards we met my friend C and his husband for some clubbing.

During the night we did the usual flirting and obviously LO took his shirt off as always. We did kiss a couple of times, but that’s as far as it went. After the club we both parted separately.

I am now getting increasingly uneasy. LO is not someone I’m interested in as a boyfriend. I just think he’s nice and like his body really, and all these dates where we just meet, touch or kiss are exactly the kind of thing I should be avoiding, but somehow we’ve ended up doing just that. Mental note: next date should be at home…

Interestingly while in Heaven I met F (Another weekend without a rest, Giving up on some more). Hadn’t seen him for ages… he was there with some of his friends and funnily enough, that included one I had slept with before knowing they were close friends! At some point of the night I was surrounded by three people I have had sex with in the past plus LO… strange feeling.

F was very friendly and we chatted the next day, he suggested I should join him with his friends and invited me to go to Brighton with them this weekend but I can’t. I reminded him I still have a contact lens box he left at home on purpose, his answer was “does it take too much space? ”, not sure what it’s on his mind.

30 days

 

 

After the EH episode I didn’t fancy much dating so I took it easy… it also made me think about the sort of guys I was seeing and ended up upping the age a bit and avoiding students and anyone who sounded like having a date to leave the UK. At least that was my intention.

So during a whole month I did not have sex once. I did chat with a few people and have had a couple of dates though, with LO and a “newcomer”.

The new guy is someone I met through gaydar, he’s 21 (yep I know, not any older but I knew him from before…) and Korean-American, I’ll call him DK. We had been chatting quite often on MSN but he was back in sunny CA after finishing his uni term. We even had a friend in common: TL. Although I must admit this is starting to happen way too often…

He came to London with his father on his way to Africa and we had dinner the day he arrived. We had great conversation despite his jet lag but had to leave early to get some rest. Then he was off for a couple of weeks.

On his return we met again. He joined me to watch a strange 70’s gay movie that my ex had organised. Unfortunately, he had to leave after the movie but we agreed to meet the next day. I texted him later saying my friends had asked me where my boyfriend was. He replied he would only be so lucky…

On Friday he couldn’t go out clubbing as planned as his flight was in the morning so I took TL’s advice and invited him over for some home cooked dinner.

We had a great evening, we got on very well and chatted and chatted for ages slowly getting more cosy on the sofa. He planned to catch the last train of the night but when we noticed the time at midnight I suggested he could always just catch one in the morning… he took up the offer quickly.

The whole time he was very shy, never taking the first step on anything, and since I’m not the fast kind progress was slow… finally we decided it was time for bed.

We laid down on the bed talking and slowly got closer and closer. I finally ended up half way on him, and when for a few moments he closed his eyes, I kissed him. From there everything else followed, slowly kissing and undressing each other until there was nothing between us…

We finally went to sleep at almost 3am, barely 3 hours until the first train… I would have loved to spend a lazy morning in bed, waking up cuddled to each other. But that will need to wait till he comes back in just over a month’s time. He had a train to catch and a father waiting for him in his hotel room.

I can’t wait to see him again. During the evening I could see him making a great boyfriend but the fact that he will live outside London is a bit of an obstacle.

There is something a bit spooky about him though. There are quite a few similarities with H! He does have a similar look (as TL pointed out), both love books, both studied something related, they both like vintage clothes shops and have a particular taste for the same unusual piece of clothing, they’re only one year of age apart and even their voices seem similar…

Underwear: Disco Valante

It has been a long time since I posted about anything not related to my personal life, so I thought it was time to do that again.

I’ve mentioned before I love underwear. Always buying some more when I have the chance so my cupboard is fully stocked (although I’m missing some briefs that Y took and never returned).

Today I’d like to introduce you to Disco Valante. The man behind this new brand used to be a US Naval Officer who despite being straight decided to come up with an underwear brand marketed to gay people. I followed his blog for quite a while until he finally launched his website and his products were on sale.

I did like the designs and here are a few samples. At the beginning I didn’t buy anything since I thought the shipping to UK was a bit expensive but I finally took advantage of a sale and ordered two pairs which just arrived!

Underwear: Disco Valante
Model: Gregory Partsinevelos

I chose these two:

In case you wondered, the Chinese text says “fuck me”…

Disco Valante: Blog , Online Shop

Seeing an old date

Back in February I wrote about HJ, a Korean guy that I met while he was on holidays in London. We met four times, twice at home for some fun and twice for a theatre play. He was quite a nice guy and it was sad to see him go at the time.

Turned out he had a boyfriend living in London, something I didn’t know until he changed his relationship status to “It’s complicated” a day before he left and I asked him about it.

His boyfriend lives in London but spends the weeks in a neighbouring country for work. Their troubles were because of the distance and when we met he wasn’t sure there was much future. In the end they decided they’d give it a go and they’re still together.

You know I don’t really believe in long distance relationships and that was the reason I had to turn down that option with H despite being in love with him. Besides my previous experience I’ve seen it in a few people and to be honest, I never see it work very well. Does any of you know of any such relationship that’s working well?

After he returned to Korea we kept in touch and exchange messages from time to time and chat on Messenger. He is now back in London during his summer break but can only see his boyfriend during the weekends. I really have to wonder what’s the point of a relationship like that, only seeing each other during two holidays a year and even then just over the weekends.

He texted yesterday and we met in Soho for dinner. It was nice seeing him again. He’s still as cute as he was back then but unfortunately fun is no longer an option. I had to restraint myself from offering to give him a back massage when he complained about a neck pain or offering my firm bed when he mentioned how his really soft bed is giving him back pain.

It’s always a funny feeling when you have a friend with whom you’ve slept before. Even though it was 5 months ago this was the first time I had seen him in person since then. I guess it takes a bit before getting used to.

Life is full of surprises – Part 2

Following from part 1:

I asked him when I would be able to see him again but he wasn’t sure. So I thought I’d wait a couple of days until he decided what to do and try to see him during the weekend when I’d ask him to be my boyfriend…

I posted the pictures from the weekend on Facebook including a few with both of us in. Who would have thought what that would lead to…

A couple of days later I was chatting with LO on MSN (A more fruitful weekend part 1 and Keep coming but they’re all taken). He had seen my pictures and asked me how did I know EH, I told him we’ve had a few dates in the last few months. He asked a bit more and then let the bomb drop.

When I asked him how did he know EH he told me his ex used him to make him jealous when they broke up. LO says his ex has not got over him and is still with him. But he also thought they were  still together and that they even thought were living together!!

OK, that was a bit of a shock so I asked him whether he was sure and he told me he’d ask his ex that evening.

Just before I went to sleep LO returned from work and confirmed the bad news. They were living together. He then told me his ex didn’t consider EH a life partner but more of a sex partner though.

LO had been heavily flirting with me lately so I was wondering how accurate the whole thing was. And with that thought I went to sleep.

EH and I always exchange text messages or chat online and his internet connection wasn’t working. Allegedly he’d moved recently from his old student flat into another one and they hadn’t got broadband yet. Or at least that’s what EH had told me. So on Friday morning I texted him and asked him whether he’d decided about his trip to China and whether he’d be able to meet that weekend.

He replied quite quickly, although he didn’t answer any of my questions. His text said he hadn’t been “very honest” with me and that he was with someone at the moment, he called himself an idiot and told me he didn’t know how to tell me. I later found out LO told his ex EH was dating someone else as well, hence his sudden confession.

I was on my way to work and felt devastated. I didn’t expect that from EH. He always appeared to me so sweet and honest. What hurt me wasn’t that he’d been seeing someone, I don’t mind that, we weren’t boyfriends, and I did too; it was that he hid something as significant from me and that he basically led me on and on every time I gave a step. He never gave me any indication I may be going into a cul-de-sac, on the contrary, he encouraged me.

We exchanged quite a few messages, I wanted to know more and why. I asked him why he’d told me he liked be very much and his answer was because he did. When I asked him why did he totally agreed with me we ought to see each other a lot more often he told me he didn’t know how to tell me and didn’t want to lose me. In the end not only he lost me and he also hurt me.

He wants to stay with the other, much older, guy. I did tell him what LO told me, he wasn’t happy, he may be sticking to a sinking ship but that is his problem now. Even if he’d told me he wanted to be with me I have doubts I would have agreed after what happened. Time to move on.

So here I am, hurt and on square one.

Life is full of surprises – Part 1

For a while it had been my idea to reduce the number of dates and try to focus on someone. And I had indeed reduced the numbers significantly already.

As you know I’ve met EH on a number of occasions and had been growing increasingly fond of him. I tried to meet him before my trip but because his end of term work wasn’t able to meet him.

I did tell him however that on my return I wanted to see him a lot more often and get him to meet my friends as well. He was all for it so it was all looking positive.

After my return we agreed to meet during the week but he had to pull out on the day as he wasn’t feeling too well. That weekend however my friend C suggested we go out to Brighton on Sunday and I invited EH along. This would give me the chance to introduce him to my friends and also do something different to the usual dinner/movie at home.

We had a great time and he got along very well with everybody. We finished the day having a few drinks at a local bar before heading back to London.

While waiting for the train EH complained about feeling very tired and having a headache and finally decided to go back home rather than coming back to mine but suggested meeting up on Tuesday evening instead. So although I was disappointed it would be just a couple of days before I saw him first.

My plan was to meet him a couple of times to make sure things were still as they were before and then ask him whether he’d like to go a step forward and make us a permanent fixture… and so far everything seemed on track.

On Tuesday he came after work as planned. When he arrived we had a nice chat in the sofa before I gave him a little something I bought for him in Singapore. At some point the playlist finished so I went to change it and he came behind me.

While changing music he hugged me from behind and I turned around and kissed him. We kissed, and cuddled while lightly dancing to the love songs playing. The long kisses and cuddles seemed really heartfelt and as usual with him it was a beautiful moment.

The kisses got a bit warmer before he pulled out my t-shirt and kissed my chest and then opened the buttons on my jeans so he could and went down on me while standing in the living room.

We moved into the bedroom and after he undressed me I proceeded to do the same to him discovering he’d completely shaved down there… Apparently he had tried to trim it in preparation for our meeting on Sunday but it went badly and ended up shaving it all off.

We made sweet love and then cuddled in bed for a while before returning to the living room where I cooked dinner and finally went to bed to sleep cuddling each other.

He left in the morning still unsure whether he’d be going back to China a week later. He’d provisionally reserved the ticket but was still unsure.

I wasn’t delighted by the idea of him going as it would mean not seeing him for probably another month, I wanted a longer period for us to meet more often. I didn’t try to convince him but I did tell him that being selfish I’d like him to stay so I could see him a lot more… he told me I wasn’t selfish.

I asked him when I would be able to see him again but he wasn’t sure. So I thought I’d wait a couple of days until he decided what to do and try to see him during the weekend when I’d ask him to be my boyfriend…

Continues in part 2 >

Back from my second Asian trip

I’ve been back for over a week from my second trip to Asia. I had a great time in Singapore and Malaysia and even got my holiday extended by 4 days. Mind you, I had to be a little creative with the truth and told them I’d lost my passport… that did the trick!

As you’ll know I was going to meet D for most of the trip but I had also been chatting with a few other people I could meet, mostly in Singapore. That’s something D was aware of and was fine with it, but the week before he asked me to do that only after returning from Malaysia. I agreed since he was the only person I was really keen to meet.

When we were back in Singapore one day I felt there wasn’t much planned I thought I’d take the chance to see a couple of people. One was one guy I had been chatting with for quite a while and just wanted to have a coffee with him. The other one was for fun after we near missed each other on my last trip to Bangkok. The thing is I wasn’t really that keen, I was just acting out of inertia.

But when I told D I managed to upset him, and I really regret that. We had a wonderful time together and the last thing I wanted to do was upsetting him. Especially for doing something for the sake of it, my old fear of missing the chance of doing something. I made an error of judgement and I am sorry for that.

On his blog he had written we were getting on surprisingly well, and that maybe I was just a very tolerant person. I think we did get on very well, but I am also a very tolerant person, and sometimes I expect people around me to be equally flexible.

In the end I just met the first guy for a coffee and didn’t even contact the other one, I was really not in the mood any more. Later that evening I met D again for but he mostly remained silent, it was hard to get him to tell me his feelings and discuss the whole situation. I always prefer talking about things even though you may end up hearing things you don’t like. Needless to say that night I slept on my own, and I really missed him.

Holiday in Singapore and Malaysia with D

I hadn’t told you this but I’m off to Asia again!

I had planned to go again towards the end of the year and had a possible route in mind. But I find winters in England terribly long and they make me moody, so by February I’m ready to give up a limp in exchange for some sun!

So when D told me to go with me to Malaysia I was tempted. Initially I thought it was crazy to fly all the way there to go on holiday with someone I had never physically met. But later on, as we chatted more and more I started to warm up to the idea. At some point I was comfortable enough and now I’ll be leaving in a couple of days. After all D is one of the three people who actually know my identity on this blog and I really look forward to meeting him finally.

The route is going to start in Singapore, then Tioman in Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur and finally Singapore again before flying back to London.

It’s a short trip, just a week and a half, that will let me have another holiday in Asia later in the year, and I’m already trying to plan what route. My original option was BKK, Chiang Mai, Vietnam and Cambodia but lately I’ve been thinking on a route that would include Hong Kong, Taiwan and something else, not sure, maybe I can combine the two trips in some way.

I can’t wait.